FAQ'S

Why should I develop a dating brand?

To maximize your dating success. Successful professionals consciously develop, manage, and market their brands to achieve business success; the same mindset applies to dating. Most singles navigate the dating journey without a plan, let alone  preparation, strategy, and tactics — they wing it and hope for the best. But that can change. With the Brand You! system, I’ll show you a better, smarter way to date. Success in dating begins with self-knowledge; knowing who you are — strengths, limitations, growth areas — and the value you offer others. You’ll have practical, actionable tools and strategies to learn how to leverage the power of a personal brand, harness your potential, and take charge of your one-of-a-kind dating brand that is YOU!

What one area do you advise men to work on?

Women want men to be more relational and drop their armor. Men can be strong and vulnerable at the same time. Developing strong emotional intelligence is a key variable that plays a significant role in how relationships grow and sustain over time.It’s the capacity to notice and identify your emotions and the emotions of others, while regulating reactions and responses. It consists of self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, skillful communication, and inventory assessments. Developing high levels of emotional intelligence is also an asset in a man’s business life. Strong leaders and performers tend to have higher levels of EQ. The good news is that EQ is 100% learnable.

How would you describe your ideal client?

They’re open minded and willing to complete an honest self-audit of relational strengths and weaknesses. They desire to become the best version of themselves and desire a long-term committed partnership. Most are divorced or widowed; some have never married. Their dating efforts have been frustrating, resulting in limited return on their investment. High hopes have repeatedly turned into disappointment. They’re willing to do the inner work to uncover patterns of behavior or poor habits that have sabotaged past relationships and kept them from experiencing real love.

What does it take to excel at online dating?

The purpose of an online dating profile is to market what you have to offer. If you want to get noticed and remembered, the quality of your visual and written messaging is key. Self-marketing can be difficult for some but don’t be shy about showcasing who you are: your warmth, sense of humor, talents, quirky ways, and so on.

When writing your profile, act as if you’re telling a personal story to the type of person you want to meet—imagine you’re only writing to them. Keep it relatively short. After composing a rough draft, share it with someone you trust that knows you well enough to provide honest feedback.

Your choice of posted photos is a very big deal. Select about six high quality photos. Men, forget the selfies in your car or looking at your bathroom mirror. Ditch the sunglasses as a primary photo. Only post current age photos, both close up and full body images. Showcase photos of you doing activities you enjoy (e.g. sports, volunteering, traveling, etc.). And if at all, keep family and friends’ photos to a minimum.

Above all else, be authentic, tell the truth, be kind in your responses, and don’t take anything personally. Remember: If perceptions are everything then everything in your online profile must count.

What dating tips can you offer?

#1  Both men and women are visual creatures so your outer appearance really matters. Don’t look at this as being superficial; like it or not, it’s just how humans are wired. Look your best. Act your best. Men, be the best gentlemen possible. Impeccable manners will get noticed.

#2  A first meet-up is best with coffee or drinks. Keep it simple. Sure, there can be exceptions, but maximize your dating dollars. With the wrong person a dinner date can seem like an eternity. Gentlemen, pick up the tab the first few dates. If she offers, kindly refuse.

#3  DO NOT talk negatively about former relationships and partners. Frame past experiences positively (what you learned from the experience). Refrain from using the word ‘ex’ and replace with ‘former’. It’s way more respectful (even if you don’t quite feel it yet.)

#4  Men can tend to dominate the conversation or only talk about themselves. Women complain about this a lot! A man may catch himself, and say, “Hey, that’s enough about me. Let’s focus on you” but minutes later he returns to talking, missing the opportunity to engage her.

#5  To get to know a date better, ask open-ended questions to learn more about their character, values, and interests. Try weaving some of these into conversations:

What are you most like and why: A sketchbook or blueprint? A kayak or a speed boat? A candle or a firecracker?

If you were invited to a costume party what would you wear that matched your personality?

If you had the opportunity to have dinner with anyone in the world, who would you pick and why?

When you were a little kid, what activities made you lose track of time?

If you were to teach a college course, what would you teach?

What was it like to be a kid in your family? How did you celebrate holidays?

What’s the gutsiest thing you’ve ever done and would you do it again?

#6  Be what you are looking for. Many are searching for love. Do not, therefore, be the searcher. Rather, be that for which others are searching. Be what you wish to experience.

#7  Recognize the ‘Love Cocktail’. When attracted to someone, your brain and body are under the influence of a fog-of-infatuation. You can’t consciously control this but be aware of its potency.

#8  Write down your brand attributes. List your physical characteristics, skills, personality traits, abilities, interests, life view/worldview, and moral/spiritual beliefs. Don’t keep in your mind; write them down.

Google 36 Questions to Fall in Love; it’s a fascinating study.

When dating, how can I be more self-aware?

Ask self-reflective questions.They’ll cause you to think and feel at a deeper level. To start, consider these:

Am I aware of how I come across to prospective mates?

How effective am I in managing my emotions and honoring the emotions of others?

Am I really able to hear constructive feedback without taking it personally?

What are my core needs and values?

What has derailed dating in the past?

If I invited a guest over to my home for dinner, does my home and environment reflect who I am?

Am I ‘relationship ready’?

When was the last time I updated my ‘look’?

Can I detect the love-fog-of-infatuation and waving red flags?

How will I know that they’re the one?

How is coaching different from therapy?

Coaching identifies behavioral-based issues that respond well to skill-based coaching. Therapy is best for difficult, deep, unresolved issues from the past. My work is ‘therapeutic’ but not therapy. My education, training, and hard-won life experience supports me in knowing the difference between coaching and therapy. If the situation requires, I refer men to qualified therapists to work though past issues that coaching is unable to resolve.

What dating related resources are available?

Our Charlotte market offers a network of talented, highly qualified life style professionals, many of whom come personally recommended. They can include:

Hair stylists, eye wear providers, wardrobe consultants, jewelers

Personal trainers, weight management, nutritionists, massage therapists

Skin care, plastic surgeons, hair replacement, cosmetic dentistry

Therapy modalities

Manners, etiquette, social consultants

Interior decorating*

For online dating, photographers and writers are recommended, should you be interested, to help you craft an authentic story of who you are and what you want to tell.

*Given my background in interior decorating, I consult on home decor and environment. However, if you need extensive interior design assistance, I refer that work.

I have access to the most recent relevant dating and relationship books, articles, and webinars.

For career, life, and leadership advisory and coaching, visit my other company:  TheSelfConsultancy.com.

As a woman, what can you tell men about keeping love alive in a relationship?

Debunk the stereotype that men don’t read books on relationships. Read them.

Eliminate three words from your vocabulary: Defend. Blame. Justify.

Tell her and show her that you love her.

Listen to her because she has important things to share. She needs you to see and hear her.

Be an equal in your partnership.

Touch her arms, tuck her hair behind her ears, grab her hand, and stroke her back.

Never forget that she is the most beautiful woman in the world to you and make sure she knows it. Tell her; don’t assume she knows this.

Help her soar by encouraging her dreams and aspirations; ask about them.

Draw her bath water. It’s the little things that can count the most (and sometimes they save the day)!

Kiss her for 6-seconds often during the day. Make it a habit.

Take turns arranging date night. Initiative is key.

Send her flowers for no reason.

When you give her a card, for any reason, always write a personal note. Not a novel, just a few simple sentences.

Reach for her hand when she’s afraid. She needs to feel emotionally and physically safe.

Learn from dating and relationship mistakes. Don’t repeat them.

Put your ego aside and need to be right. It’s not worth it. We have limited time here. Let your actions reflect this.

And never forget: Love is everything!

What is the investment for your services?

I work on a retainer and offer a variety of packages outlining the services offered. I look for a natural partnership where we both feel we can work together as a team. I’m sure you want the same. Fees are discussed during your complimentary consultation.

Do you offer a match-making service?

No. That is best left to professional match-makers. However, I do believe that singles become best matches after working through the Brand You! personal branding system.

What do you cover in the free initial discussion?

 

To make our time most valuable, I’ll ask you to complete a brief questionnaire and return prior to your consultation which is about 30-minutes. I’ll ask you to tour CornerOfficeCupid.com to get a better sense of the service I offer, to learn more about me, and for you to make note of any questions you may have. If you are in the Charlotte, area I encourage a face-to-face meeting; however, if you are out of the area video conference works just fine.